Turtle Club Newsletter 18: Changing Times
Being a dad makes you feel things
I haven’t seen Across the Spider-Verse yet. I do not know when I am going to see it. Having a 2 year old child makes it hard to find time to watch movies at all, let alone go to a theater to watch a movie.
But having a kid also changes how you interact with and read just about everything. I watched Into the Spider-Verse yesterday, which I think is probably the first time since it hit home video, which was long before I had a child.
What hit me about the film this time is how powerful a story it is for not just young teens coming of age, but as a parent, how to empower your child to find their way.
In particular, what struck me was Jefferson, Miles Morales’s father, trying to connect with his son, who is, like all teenagers, trying to maintain his distance and define his identity outside of his parents. After Jefferson discovers his brother, Miles’s uncle Aaron, dead, he goes to visit his son at his prep school dorm room.
Miles has just confronted the older Peter Parker, who has sidelined the young Spider-Man for his own protection after determining he was not ready to head into danger. Miles has been nervous and unsure of himself, unable to take control of his various spider powers. He wants to help, he knows what the right thing to do is, but he cannot get himself to take the steps needed to do it. Peter believes Miles has the potential to be a real hero, but sees the insecurity and inexperience clearly. With deep compassion, he tells Miles to stay put. When Miles refuses, he embarrasses the teen by quickly subduing him and webbing him to a chair and even cutting off his protestations by webbing his mouth shut.
It is then that Jefferson arrives, knocking on his son’s door to share the terrible news about Uncle Aaron’s death. But Miles cannot answer. Jefferson doesn’t know this, and believes it is just another of his son’s attempts to draw away from his family.
“Something happened…” Jefferson begins, his voice choking. He places his hand upon the door. Look sometimes, people drift apart, Miles. And I don’t want that to happen to us, ok? Look, I know I don’t always do what you need me to do or say what you need me to say, but I’m... I see this...this spark in you. It’s amazing, it’s why I push you. But it’s yours and whatever you choose to do with it, you’ll be great.” Miles, teary-eyed, rests his head upon the door, just on the other side of his father’s outstretched hand.
A piece of plywood, but what feels like infinite despair, an intractable distance, separates them.
He tells his son he loves him, but assures Miles he doesn’t need to say it back. But still, Jefferson hesitates, waiting to hear the words back. He watches his son’s shadow through the crack of the door. Longing for the little boy he raised to bridge the distance. When no words come back, he turns and leaves.
As a dad, what was an emotional scene the first time I saw it, completely changed. Before I only approached it from Miles’s perspective. The pain of growing up and the insecurity of living up to what you believe to be your parents’ expectations. We measure ourselves by our perceived esteem from those we love.
But as a father, I know now that this is not how parenthood works… The love and pride for a child is immeasurable, inexhaustible. We might get angry, disagree, be confused, but the love endures. As a child, we often lose our belief in ourselves and our potential, just as Miles does here.
And certainly, Miles’s struggle for belief, his coming of age, is the central thrust of the film. But layered across that narrative, is Peter B. Parker’s journey as an adult to refind his purpose and belief, found through mentoring Miles as a surrogate son he was too afraid to have, and in Jefferson’s journey to reconcile his strained relationship with the boy he fears will become like his estranged brother. He loves Aaron, but knows that he is on the wrong side of the law. He loves Miles, but cannot bring himself to be honest about who Aaron is, because he does not want his boy to lose the image he has of his uncle, even if it is misguided.
Yes, Into the Spider-Verse is a coming of age story. But it is also a story about parenthood and family, of the complexity of relationships and love.
It is the words of his two mentors, his father and Peter, that sparks Miles to step up and claim his identity as Spider-Man. At his lowest, Jefferson’s words of unconditional love inspire him to finally control his powers.
The screenplay describes the moment:
“Miles’ hands visibly RELAX as his venom strike starts to crackle to life on his hands - using this memory is how he’s learning to control his powers”
From here, he races to claim his costume, the words of his mentors and family ringing in his ear, his father, his mother, his uncle, Peter. “When do I know I’m Spider-Man?” He asks Peter.
“You won’t. That’s all it is, Miles. A leap of faith.”
The music builds to a manic frenzy.
Here, we get the most iconic image of the entire film. The screenplay, again:
“Miles walks to the edge of the roof, the wind buffeting... and LEAPS! The camera is UPSIDE DOWN. Miles isn't falling through frame. He's RISING.”
Miles is Spider-Man. But he does not, cannot get there alone.
Listen, my kid is only two, he isn’t old enough to rebel or make any meaningful mistakes or decisions. But, God, looking at him, every day discovering more about the world, who he is, understanding new things that just a month ago were foreign concepts, I see that spark Jefferson talks about.
The multiple layers of storytelling in Into the Spider-Verse, how it tells not just the story of Miles Morales stepping into adulthood, but adults stepping into responsibility, of reconciliation and second-chances, it all hit me yesterday for the first time. And the longer I’m a dad, the more ways more things are recontextualized. It’s a fun thing about getting older, re-engaging with something familiar and finding new things to appreciate.
Random Comic Panel
#89
I don’t have much else to share with you this week. Comics hate me, as usual, but no segment on that for this go-around. And nothing new on the site. As ever, time is a precious commodity I don’t have for my more rigorous longform writing.
In the meantime, feel free to share your support on Patreon or Ko-Fi to stay updated. Check out the archives for other great writing at urbaneturtle.com
Peace,
Tim